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Sexual assault at work [05 Jul 2010|11:23pm]

anappleater
[ mood | drained ]



I work in a clothes shop in London, and recently one of my co-workers (and friends) managed to secure a position as the head of the companies P.A. She has been keen to further her career, and so jumped at the chance. Over the weeks, it became clear that something was very, very wrong. She came to our store to buy new clothes because she had been instructed to wear more short skirts. She had to wear heels at all times, a full face of makeup, and have immacuately done nails. When our manager spoke to the head on the phone, he told her to 'speak to my dog', in reference to my friend. She kept telling us all that everything was fine however, and we, perhaps stupidly, believed her.

The other night things reached an entirely new level. She was at his home, working late with him, when he pulled her by the hair and tried to kiss her. When she resisted, he grabbed her breast, pulled her hair again and informed her to 'bend over', as he took off his belt. My friend managed to escape the situation, and yesterday went to the police station to make a formal complaint. There is a warrant out for his arrest, but he's currently out of the country, on holiday.

He is an immensely powerful and wealthy man, and I find it hard to believe that with the UK judicial system being the way it is, that any justice will be served. This man is a monster. He gradually wore down the resistence of my friend, demanding her constant attention. She became so entrenched in his world, that she began to normalise his increasingly inappopriate behaviour and demands upon her. This incident I think shocked her into realising how completely fucked up his treatment of her has been. She's not alone in this either, he makes inappopriately sexual comments to almost all the female staff, and gets away with it. He's currently already being sued by a former employee for sexual harassment, and another manager walked out after being told he needed to fire a sales assistant because 'no one wants to be served by a black man'. My friend apparently has tried to resign in the past, but he just laughed at her and threw the resignation letter back in her face.

Yet this case comes firmly down to her word against his, and he will of course be able to afford the best lawyer money can buy. The only eye witness account was through an office window, in which another member of staff witnessed him telling my friend to sit down in front of him and slowly open and close her legs. The power he weilds psychologically over his staff members is absolutely horrifying, proven by the fact that a collegue saw this and felt powerless to do anything.

My anger is indescribable. I don't know how to help my friend, I don't even really know the legal standing when it comes to sexual harassment in the UK. I've done some research, and found the number for the one rape and sexual assault crisis centre in London. Also a charity that helps victims of abuse who work in retail. But I am overwhelmed with frustration and rage that due to this mans position of power, he feels he can act in any way he feels towards women. That they are nothing, toys for him to pick up and play with, then discard. That he has gotten away with it for so long, and will most likely continue to do so. How is this right? How is this ok? and how is it so many men in our society are able to get away with things like this??

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I don't even know where to start [25 Mar 2010|06:06pm]

roadkillkitten
[ mood | irate ]

This... I have no words for this. No, just no.



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New to this community [23 Mar 2010|07:30pm]

lepetke
[ mood | optimistic ]

So this community really stood out to me because throughout a good portion of my life, I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused by my father. Lately, I've decided that instead of brooding over everything that's happened, I'm going to take my experiences and use them to make me a stronger person, and help other women with similar problems overcome it as well. To see this group of so many strong-willed women, it's truly inspiring. :D

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Cities with an active feminist community? [06 Dec 2009|08:25am]

gyrbyl
What cities in the United States have active feminist communities? Womens' centers, feminist book groups, etc.

I wish it could be MichFest all year round, but unfortunately it isn't. The next best thing would be to live in a city with a fairly active womens' community... where can I find that?
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Hello Newbie Here [15 Nov 2009|09:47pm]

mrsflythe
Hi, I just joined this awesome community. I'm 26 almost 27 years old. I've felt very feminist for years and years now and my family always just wrote me off as having some teen angst thing. For years now I have suppressed the grrl I know I really am and I think it's about time I let her out. I love punk rock music and have five tattoos and want more. Happy to meet you all and my dream is to one day write a kick ass book or write for a magazine/zine. Have an awesome day :)
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Separation of Church and State- where is the line? [27 Aug 2009|06:34pm]

eco_fan
[ mood | pensive ]

Whatever your thoughts on Muslim women wearing the niqab, or veil, in public, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my mulling over this recent court ruling in Michigan that allows their courts "reasonable control over the appearance of parties and witnesses." This ruling is in response to a woman who tried to faithfully wear her niqab in claims court.  eco-fan.livejournal.com/5303.html

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A village to raise a child, or just a man? [10 Aug 2009|12:34pm]

eco_fan
[ mood | pissed off ]

I wanted to cross-post my post here, but I haven't figured out how yet, and its not in the help section, so please read this: eco-fan.livejournal.com/ Feel free to share your thoughts.

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axiomatic [07 Aug 2009|10:23pm]

angryjanedoe

xposted to[info]add_a_feminist

I hope it's ok I post this here. I've been trying to think through the murder of three women at an LA Fitness club a few days ago by a man who was angry that he couldn't get any dates.

The posts are part of an ongoing project about ethics in dating. I've edited for clarity, but there are more details in the original. The obvious reaction is that it's not ethical to fucking shoot women because you can't get a date, but I guess I think there's even more than that to say. So the following is my attempt to say something about what these murders say about men and women and heterosexual dating nowadays.

***

I briefly fucked around with an older man. I'd say he was in his mid to late 50s, although he could have been even older. I never asked and he never told me.

When we were talking one evening after some wine and sex, he started to muse aloud. "I like you a lot. I even love you," he said, "but I don't see how we could get seriously involved. I want children and you're too old already. I need a younger woman."

I am about 15-20 years younger than he is. And he has pretty unrealistic expectations about the women he will date. They need to have an athletic body, a pretty face, and a good mind, like me. He wasn't having a lot of luck with those women and, after a few weeks, he didn't have much luck with me either.

What stuck with me were his expectations -- his sense of entitlement.

continued.Collapse )



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4 sale: LE TIGRE setlist from 2001!! zomg! [30 May 2009|11:05am]

terrorbird
[ mood | bouncy ]

hey folks,

i'm currently selling a genuine setlist from a 2001 le tigre concert in tallahassee, florida.  own a piece of feminist/riotgrrl history!  check out the auction here:

2001 Le Tigre Setlist - Kathleen Hanna Bikini Kill

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[26 Apr 2009|11:06am]

lady_hedge
Hello people!!! I have a question and was hoping someone in this community could assist me.

Some time ago, in 08 maybe, there was a contest for some feminist website and they had to make some kind of poster representing true beauty or something. One of them was the figure of a woman's torso with a lot of measuring tape around it saying words like "You are more than a number" ect ect, and another one with cosmetic items and on one of the items (a round flip mirror thingie) it said "all the cosmetics in the world can't buy you true beauty" or something along those lines.

GAHH I can't find these images for the LIFE of me!!! Any help from anyone? :(
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[18 Apr 2009|06:37pm]

themintchick
So, a few days ago I was sitting with my friend (female) and we somehow got onto the topic of cheerleading...

Read more...Collapse )
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[14 Apr 2009|12:53pm]

itsvictoriavile
[ mood | depressed ]

So my boyfriend as of recent has been bugging me to make a porn with him...uhm..at first i laughed thinking he was joking but he's very serious. After we have sex he rants about how amazing i am at it and brings up this rotten porn idea.
 Why does he have to have a video of us posted on some web site?
He also  wants to take naked photos of me and swears he won't show anyone cause why would he want all his friends to see HIS girl naked. I don't know what to say to him anymore. He's always trying to pressure me into doing things i don't want to and yells at me for not responding the way he wish i would.

 This all has been making me feel like shit. I do love him but can't stand being yelled at like a dog when i havent done anything wrong.
I try to make excuses up for him..like maybe he's biploar or just too insecure which leads to the jealousy but idk anymore.
If you read the last entry in my journal it explains alot abuot how he's been acting.

Has anyone ever dated someone like this? How did you handle it?
Am i and idoit for staying?...i obv don't give up easy.

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New here! [13 Apr 2009|05:40pm]

representin
hey there, this is my first post, so please excuse me if i'm repeating things that have already been brought up here.

here's my issue -- i've been looking around for a blog to read/post on that had to do with femininity and women's issues. i looked at a bunch of online zines and blogs written by women, but this was the only blog i could find where i felt like ideas were being shared and members were being responded to and supported by other members.

most of the feminist blogs i read were filled with angry rants and put-downs of the male gender. it seemed as though the posters weren't trying to make a DIFFERENCE or suggest alternative mindsets or actions to the stereotypes and issues they were bringing up. even as a woman (and a pretty bitter one, at that), i found myself put off by this method of sharing problems and experiences, because I felt like it really did nothing to change what it was that the posters were arguing against. i understood the anger being presented, but did not understand the format in which it was being used.

does anyone understand what i'm talking about? i'm interested in hearing opinions about this kind of feminist ranting and raving. do you think it serves the same purpose as a blog like this one, which is set up more like a 'support group,' or do you think it's simply a place to relieve stress? do you think both kinds of forums are equally as important?
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[07 Apr 2009|07:43pm]
newgirlincity
Ok, so here's a question for people. Is self-defense empowering?

The reason I ask is this. A really good friend of mine and myself, are both very well trained in a variety of martial-arts (more her than me), and we recently started a practical self-defense class for women. In this, we also use guys as muggers/attackers, padded, although not those huge dummies, more sensible padding, including amateur boxing helmets.

This gives us the opportunity to more or less use the guys as ragdolls, and there's obviously a certain degree of humiliation that goes with it for the men. Usually they have to go down in pain, and quite melodramatically even, all in front of a cheering female audience. The two girls doing it (us) are obviously supposed to look good, to display female empowerment, and encourage the girls to not be victims.

So, the question anyway.

Often, the guy gets to go down right in front of the girls, in very undignified poses (such as on his knees, holding his balls), and he can hear the comments and laughter, which are varied and poignant.

1. Would women find this empowering?

2. What would your reaction be if you were one of those girls seeing a man go down like described?

3. What do you think goes through that man's mind at that moment?

4. Any other comments?

Obviously this is open to everyone, feminist or not, male or female, etc...
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I'm pretty new here [27 Mar 2009|11:58pm]

87_misfit
And this is my first post, so hopefully it's a good one. It's behind a cut because of pretty strong language....
I got pretty sick of men bitching about women's (or my own) body hair and a few other things. >:[

Language TimothyCollapse )
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[26 Feb 2009|02:49pm]

ms_guillotine
Newbie here!

I am a final year Politics student in Northern Ireland and i'm looking for a bit of help on my dissertation. It is on women in American Politics...

I don't suppose you know of any gender related bills? Specifically I need examples, things like Rep. women putting forward womens issue bills (esp. when they are in power) and same for Dem. women.

cross party support for womens issue bills...

I have http://www.iwpr.org/pdf/transforming%20agenda%2010-00.pdf that...but am looking for more...

any help greatly appreciated!!! <3 las xoxox

(cross posted to a billion places in order to try and be sure to get some help! LOL!)
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[25 Feb 2009|01:47pm]

quinnypin
I came across these magnetic words for children at Amazon, aimed at children from 4 and up. They're like magnetic poetry - a bunch of single words on magnets designed for writing sentences, letters, poems or whatever on your refrigerator or other magnetic surface of choice.

Like with almost everything aimed at children (hello Tesco with your blue and pink English school dictionaries!) they come in a boy's version and a girl's version. I am amazed and dumbfounded at the differences between the word sets.

Girls:

clothes, hairband, heart, love, sparkle, perfume, beads, necklace, furry, lipstick, ribbon, handbag, want, glitter, fairies, fluff, candy, flowers, wings, sherbet, bubbles, sweets, pink, make-up, skipping, magic, dancing, ballet, bunnies, rainbow, ladybird, lemonade, stars, sky, shoes, chocolate, doll, party, secret, diary, hair, jewels, princess, queen, tiara, ice-cream, teddy, music, sunshine, birds, butterfly, sugar, angel, diamond, cooking, friends

Boys:

boots, glue, monster, scary, bones, racing, moon, helicopter, aeroplane, tractor, money, lorry, wizard, conkers, frogs, sticks, mud, dirt, spiders, snails, stones, bubbles, sweets, flags, magic, pond, string, grass, rugby, bug, dogs, caterpillar, cobweb, worms, dinosaur, dragon, bike, scooter, forest, treasure, climbing, swinging, skeleton, running, ghost, trees, swimming, lawnmower, treehouse, blue, football, chocolate, car

Reviewer C. Hurley "Zoonie" had it spot on and said everything I wanted to, but more succinctly and with more humour:
I was so pleased when I found this list of primary, targeted words guaranteed to widen every little princess's vocabulary just enough for her to play with and absorb these crucial messages which will help her form the limits of her intellectual boundaries in years to come.

Thank goodness the set excludes any complicated words like Doctor, or Car, or Career, or heaven forfend: Reading. We don't want our little ones to get silly ideas in to their heads. The right social conditioning from as early as possible will present the world with compliant, self absorbed, distressed, depressed and anorexic teenagers who are all the more willing to spend, spend, spend on hopeless diet cures, makeup, hidden, guilt ridden chocolate (one of the special words placed here!) and anti-depressants which will really make life worth living.

I particularly like the pink packaging, covered in stars. One might, startlingly, have thought that the words list had basic references to Astronomy in but thank goodness, those fears were allayed straight away as I eyed up the list of words envoking fantasy parties of frills and ruffles, endless Disney Princess re-runs and a future of anorexia driven depression and body hate.

Well done, Indigo worldwide limited, for creating such a wonderful gift, to help shape a bright future for your little one.


Is this what they mean by 'starting them young'?

Crossposted to personal journal, feminist_rage, feministparents and Feminist Mums.
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South Africa National Party Seeks to "Rehabilitate Gays" [16 Feb 2009|07:15pm]

queerunity
The revived National Party in South Africa will allow gay and lesbian members to serve, but says that the government will help to "rehabilitate" them. They are also strongly against the constitution allowing same-sex marriages. It is a shame that the NP is thinking of itself above science which shows that homosexuality is natural and cannot be altered, attempts to "rehabilitate gays" fail.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2009/02/south-african-national-party-will.html
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Why women endure and pass on the bondage of belief. An Evolutionary Perspective [16 Feb 2009|10:55am]

andreaknoll
Bondage of Belief

Why do women today continue to fall victim to an archaic system of beliefs that foster misogynistic behavior?

Why are women even more likely to be religious than men?


As we celebrate the 200th birthday of the godfather of evolution, Charles Darwin, mankind still looks to religion for answers that his theories have tangibly brought fourth. Statistically speaking however, womankind is even more likely to believe and pass on religious dogma, which presents a logical dichotomy given that they're the gender most oppressed by their faith.

Following on from her previous article on The Evolution of Religion, R. Elisabeth Cornwell (who works alongside Richard Dawkins in support of his Foundation For Reason & Science) explores the evolutionary reasons why women endure and pass on the bondage of belief.

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

1 Tim. 2:11-14


Religion has both revered and reviled women, exalting their fertility and fearing their sexuality. While religions throughout history have mutated, gone extinct, and propagated -- the position of women within their ever expanding reach has usually fared poorly. Yet, women are far more likely to be religious, attend religious services, and inculcate their children with their beliefs*. Why are women so willing to give in to religious dogma and subject themselves to the degradations often inflicted upon them? This is a fascinating question, and is especially perplexing when you consider the great strides toward equality women have gained in the West. Yet, without women passing on faith, belief, and dogma, religion could not survive through the generations.

The full article can be found at the link below:

Why Women Are Bound to Religion: An Evolutionary Perspective
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[16 Feb 2009|10:14am]

choosetoforget
 http://www.sineaterproductions.com/rape.html

I am in a DIY community and someone posted a zine they had made. This is an example of an article in said zine. The theme of this issue is sex by the way. There was another article I did not read entitled Pedophiles are great (or something to that effect). The theme of the article I posted a link to above is basically just reenforcing rape myths. Now this might be an attempt at satire, but if it is it is a very poor attempt. There are a lot of things I would like to discuss with the author of this article (both the words "author" and "article" are used loosely here as this piece of writing is very poorly written as well). However, I will just say here that I am sick of this shit! When will it stop being okay to make rape jokes?? People may think they are pushing the envelope and being "edgy" but they are really just being ignorant! Plain and simple!! In fact I stopped watching Family Guy because of all the rape jokes I have noticed in one of the later seasons. I'm sick of it being socially acceptable to objectify, mock, and degrade women, gays, effeminate people, immigrants, people who aren't caucasian, and any one else who is not a middle to upper class, straight, white male! I don't believe in the gender binary but for the sake of this argument I am forced to use the language afforded to me in my society just as an fyi. I just needed to get that off my chest. I want to do something about these myths...but what? I'm thinking about making flyers debunking rape myths and posting them in the bathroom stalls at my University (men's, women's, and unisex) to at least feel like I am making a difference on my own campus. Maybe I will seek the help of the women's group on campus...although the only thing I have heard of them doing is putting on the Vagina Monologues...and they didn't even do that on valentine's day (which I always thought was the tradition so people would think about something other than obeying their corporate masters on v-day). Wow... run on sentence much? Alright I'm done ranting...for now...
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